dads-and-dad-blogYou can reach an understanding of what it is to be a familyman through recognition of what is really the core conflicts in family life. I have done a lot of work with children at the age of eight to ten. Right now I work as a caretaker of two boys who have a lot of problems, one even is not able to feed, but has to get food through a tube.

Their family is really broken, divorce and so on. What has lead to this extreme situation? It is basically a fight between good and evil in the family. Violence, egoism and abuse.

My little daughter Rakel she is now almost three years old. She has this tendency to try and get her way all the time. So we fight over what she should eat, NO NO CANDY!, and little things as when to leave the table, and be a nice, sharing and loving person. She is only almost three, so this fight with her, to put some moral fibre in her, is normal and just a part of any normal upbringing.

The families where abuse and violence occurs, does not do it this way however. They let the children do whatever they want, and as a consequence, they go wild. They go and do what nature programs us for, the rule of the strong. They start seeing, that getting your way, without regard to a fellowmans wellbeing is in fact fun, you can easily get stronger, and you can enrich yourself at the cost of your neighbor.

This is where evil starts, it starts by people disregarding the very basis of society; that everybody should accept that they are their brothers keeper, and not their thief.

Ethics, or moral is the antidote to this. You instill principles of personal behaviour in your children, and if someone has gone astray, and start stealing, you seek to instill in them new morals. Sometimes it works, sometimes not, but this is really the basic raison d´etre of correctional facilities and jails and fines.

But back to the families. Good moral, good behaviour and a sense of society in the family, is the bedrock of society. If people do not learn how to behave in the families, they end up harrasing and causing pain to innocent and often weak people. The children become the school bully, or the gangster.

But, through a wise and sensitive correction, not by too strong means and always based on love, you can guide your children into being good and honourable citizens, and love people as they love themselves.

G-d bless the wisdom of the ancients.

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