When you pray, often you do it to make amends, look critically upon yourself, have a little chat with spirit, reach out for another person you may miss, or just feel the comfort of silence and rest. But a few times in your life, you really are in a deep crisis, it can be in your marriage, in conflict or in war. As politicians, who read this blog knows. The dangers are many, and the help is, in reality very scarce. The advisors your have are often more interested in their own career than in really giving you sound advice, and in the top there is often freezingly cold. But, as always, when you are in need, you still have spirit. G-d does not care whether you are rich or poor, he is always there for you if you chose to be there for him, or it.
I am lost. Basically, doing what I do is totally stupid, it does not make any sense, if you look at it from outside. Why would someone sacrifice his entire existence, the wellbeing of his family, the comfort of a steady job to help the world regain its footing? It defies logic in a way.
One of my favourite writers is the Norwegian writer Knut Hamsun. He writes beautifully about love and the raptures he sings to his country is filled with all the colours of that proud and unbowing nation. He was defamed, rightully by his admission to Social Nationalism, but his writing is still superb, and I like it just for that.
When he was in the beginning of his career, he lived as a poor boheme in a derelict part of Oslo. He had a few jobs here and there, but his stomach growled louder than his thoughts sometimes. As all other artists, he tried and tried and tried for his breakthrough. At the end of the line, he sat there at his worn out desk, with only a small piece of pencil left, no money, no nothing, and the he realized, that the only way you can truly write, is by writing from where you stand yourself. You can only write with passion about what you yourself know about. So he wrote his breakthrough novel “Hunger”.
When I was once really, really sick. At the end of the line with my life, laying in my bed, looking up in the cealing, I prayed for an answer. Not just halfheartedly, but with all I had, with every ounce of my being for an answer to my predicament, I got one answer, and that was, if you fight for me, I will fight for you. This was when I was chosen as warrior of light.
I have very little, no mother, no father, no close relatives. In fact I do not even have a job. But I have one thing that other people lack; I have faith.
This faith, is all you really need, or rather, faith is a salvation if you are lost. Because it will lead you onto a better and more beautiful path. Because G-d is what is good in this world, and if we stand together united in a true faith in G-d, we will be saved, all of us.
This is why G-d chose such a lost person as me to communicate some of his viewpoints and ideas, because only through the truly lost will he be heard. Because the truly lost is ready to dedicate his everything to a cause, because he has nothing more to lose.
Think about it when you see someone in need, or you have to face something you have to overcome; if you place yourself at the mercy of spirit, humble yet strong in the action you are told to do. You will be chosen as well. We can all be chosen, because G-d will chose all those who will follow him on his path. He is open and forgiving, but never simple or superficial. He is your best friend, and your last refuge. He is there, because he needs us as much as we need him. All of us, small, strong, weak, old and young.
This is the true knowledge of spirit.
G-d bless the will to remain faithfull in the face of neglect and danger.